Psy.D., C.G.P., ABPP
On People’s Fit
Misha Bogomaz,
People are on a spectrum from those who are a good fit for us to those who are not. You know it when you met someone who is a good fit! It’s easy with them, something just clicks. The relationship just flows. On the other end of the spectrum, the relationship with someone who is not a good fit can be described as arduous. Nothing is easy, with lots of misunderstandings, and not seeing eye to eye. Yes, how many of us have spent time trying to make a friendship happen with a person who is not a good fit? How many of us have romantically pursued someone who is not a good fit? Most of us.
One of the fantastic reasons for joining group counseling is training oneself to recognize which people are a good fit for us. Just because we like someone or want to be liked by them it does not mean they will be a good fit. Who should we invest our time and energy in our lives? Those that are a good fit.
There is another reason to join group counseling: it helps not only to identify those who are not a good fit but also to learn practical skills on how to deal with them. Most of us don’t get a choice from our co-workers or our bosses. We have to learn to be effective with them! Best way to learn it? Join a process group!
During the orientation for an interpersonal process group, the conversation about people’s fit is something I have with every prospective group member. It’s important to train ourselves to recognize who we are dealing with and how to deal with them. It’s something that I myself found group counseling to be enormously helpful in my life.